Inappropriate Conversations

The apparently upcoming demise of a former employer has led me to thoughts about topics I've sidestepped in the past on Inappropriate Conversations, keeping work and personal life separate. Perhaps it makes no sense to protect an organization that no longer exists, and I don't think the stories I could tell are really that embarrassing. I consider them to be more revealing about the gap between what a group says it values compared to the culture it actually creates. 

If that's an Inappropriate Conversations show update, then the update for Walk The Earth is about a plan for daily "devotional" podcasts during Lent, starting on "Fat Tuesday" and ending on the Monday after Easter.
Lent Roll.
The inspiration for such short 2- or 3-minute shows came from the Different Drummer this week, someone I don't even know by name.

Different Drummer: (j)ula of soundwavesoffwax

Is "Shut up and kick" the correct response to recent statements by Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker? Was that the correct response in recent years to USA soccer star Megan Rapino?
That, and the "Shut up and dribble" replies to Lebron James, were just as wrong regardless the type of questions or comments being spoken into microphones.

Having said that, it is completely unacceptable to suggest that counter arguments to ideas raised in a public speech are out of line. If a celebrity like an athlete wants to start a conversation, then shutting down that conversation as contrarian push-back is, at the very least, hypocrisy. Only one instance of free speech is being defended in that situation. 

Granting that commencement addresses are among the worst forms of public speech, let's have an inappropriate conversation about ironic notions like "staying in your lane" and extend it a bit. I'll bet we can take Butker's commitment to boldly challenging false assumptions in a direction where his supporters would surely insist that "You shouldn't be allowed to say that!"
Such is freedom of speech.
 
Different Drummer: Steven Stapleton
 
Nurse With Wound list of musicians and influences
 
NWW - Terms and Conditions Apply
 
NWW - The Sylvie and Babs Hi-Fi Companion

In 1986, I wrote an essay in a letter exchange with a friend. I haven't shared it here. Reasons why aren't important. I called it "Love and Contemporary Inter-Sexual Friendship" and many of the concepts noted in this podcast -- and, to be fair, other past podcasts -- reflect the same ideas as that essay written almost four decades ago. These thoughts are both conscious and subconscious, which will be obvious from this dream scenario. 

I do not view friendship as a give-to-get concept. I don't keep score, or I try not to. My beliefs are focused on creating better relationships, a better sense of community, and perhaps a better world. 
I saw a quote by the poster of an online video about the different drummer this week that sums this up quite well: "She heals things she didn't break" (Aranez). We need more of that, in the midst of far too many people who are cynical about it. 

Different Drummer: Taylor Swift

It's always a risk to post a TalkBack episode from almost 9 years ago without reviewing it first. For Pride this year, I'm taking that risk. Since #IC #107 focused on moments in my past I'm not proud of, interacting with gays without recognizing and checking my ingrained homophobia, I figure this one would have embarrassing elements either way. It is a direct follow-up to the previous TalkBack episode. These two Inappropriate Conversations were intentionally released in the same week originally. There is a connection, along with a follow-up to one story in an episode that would follow a month later.

http://www.inappropriateconversations.org/e/107-eulogy-for-homophobia/

http://www.inappropriateconversations.org/e/112-saying-no-to-myself/

I grew up in the Central Time Zone in the United States. The late news was at 10 p.m. On Friday nights, one of the local stations would start a movie at 10:30, and it was often quite thrilling to a kid my age. Some themes were supernatural, others science fiction. Endings weren't always as happy as the Disney and Pink Panther movies my parents preferred for a family outing to the cinema. Halloween in particular was peak season for this "late night" Friday movie of the week. 

Cases in point:

A Cold Night's Death
Carnival of Souls
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Sherlock Holmes and The Scarlet Claw
The Other (1972)
Asylum (Amicus)
The House that Dripped Blood
Trilogy of Terror

A significant number of Americans, most from the political and religious right, still owe Barack Obama an apology. 
When you understand the persecution a group thinks they will suffer, whether based on rational conclusions or not, it provides great insight into what they would do if given ultimate and absolute power. We are wise to be wary. The people who predicted Obama would "round up" both Christians and guns might just pose a similar dire threat to their perceived political enemies. We haven't done a sufficient job of denouncing false prophecies in recent years, and now we must deal with the consequences.

http://www.inappropriateconversations.org/e/191-false-political-prophecies/

Pride was the focus for TalkBack episodes released in June this year. (Some of those files were mistakenly deleted and restored in July, despite being originally released in June.) I ended the series with a 2015 episode looking at the "T" of LGBTQ* and my perspective on how simple it is to address people in the manner they prefer. 

I was pretty young when my family went to an out-of-town wedding, an older cousin getting married. I must have asked an annoying question that morning because I recall getting a lecture on manners. We had only just met Jim the night before, but I read the wedding announcement which introduced him as James. "The parents of James ..." is typical verbiage. Conversation on the way the church stopped like a needle scratching across a vinyl record. It was a "listen, young man" moment from my mother to me: under no circumstances was I to address the new member of our family as James. He had told us politely and clearly that he prefers to be called Jim "and that is how we will address him from now on," I was told.

Simple to understand. It is, if nothing else, very bad manners to call someone a name, when they have asked for different treatment. Seems simple enough. It would be churlish not to comply, perhaps even provocative or confrontational. I was taught that "good people" call people by the names they have chosen and use "sir" or "ma'am" (not to mention "him" and "her") as instructed.

I do not directly cover this story within this callback to #IC #177. I have no doubt I mentioned it in a later episode touching on the same topic. It doesn't seem that hard to grasp, though, even if concepts like trans/cis can, for some of us, be hard to grasp.

http://www.inappropriateconversations.org/e/177-transitional-terminology/